I wish I may I wish I might…

I’ve been squeezing my daughter a little tighter this past week in light of the recent events in the world. I look at her bright eyes that shine on me with total trust and I think how will you see the world as you grow older my darling girl.

My sweet girl at four days old was diagnosed with PKU. I know I should be writing more but sometimes I sit down to start a blog and I start to tear up searching for the words. Sometimes there just aren’t words to express my feelings.

I am thankful. I am thankful that my daughter will live a long life. I do often ask God why he chose her to have this life long disease. I look for an answer. The only answer I know to be true is that, “God doesn’t give us anything we can’t handle.”

And this is true. Through these almost nineteen months we have some very difficult days with PKU. This past week we had to give Frankie her blood test. As she is getting older she is very aware of what is happening and this week it was just awful. She cried so hard she threw up. Both my husband and I cried. We didn’t let her see but we cried. We thought what eighteen month old should go through this.

Yesterday was the first time in the last two months she let me play “This little Piggy” on her small toes while reading her book. Because when i reach for her foot I was met with fear. She thought that Mommy was going to do a blood test and I was going to hurt her.

No child should ever think that her Mommy was going to hurt her. But I just hold her after her blood test and her Daddy holds her and we tell her we love her and that we are doing this to keep her healthy and strong.

She’s not old enough to understand that yet and it just breaks my heart. For those of you who have PKU out there and the parents of children my goodness, you are so strong.

I’ve been writing this book series for Frankie because it’s been so therapeutic for me. Through good days and bad I find that when a draw something or write something I know each page will make my daughter smile. 

So tonight… I wish I may… I wish I might… I wish that there would be a cure for PKU. If there never is one, I pray that these books I keep sending out to the universe find a happy home and put a smile on some persons face that might be having a tough day. Because we all need more smiles in this world.

Trying my best…

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